Epic Rap Battles of History: Reborn/James Corden vs. Trevor Noah
Cast * as Trevor Noah * as James Corden *Lloyd Ahlquist as Stephen Colbert Transcript *'Announcer:' Epic Rap Battles of History! James Corden appears with the CBS logo behind him. *'Announcer:' James Corden vs... Trevor Noah appears with the Comedy Central logo behind him. *'Announcer:' ...Trevor Noah! Begin! *'James:' Oh., hi, Mr. Noah, let me finish my frappuccino. Then, I'll show the audience how I'm not ripping off Jay Leno. I've been in so many things in which you can't deny you act like an overgrown kid and you're like what, 35? I make my Carpool Karaoke strike real hard. You're just like John Oliver: an unfunny retard. So I say to you Mister Reality your the main reason the network has no comedy. *'Trevor:' Wow, you think you are so groovy? Let me remind which of us starred in The Emoji Movie? Oh, you starred in a talking rabbit movie, funny. I preferred when it was called Bugs Bunny. About Carpool Karaoke, that's why you are even known. Even Jimmy Fallon has more of a funny bone. The guy right here who loses on Drop The Mic. Why you sucked hosting at the Grammys and the news must be why you killed Walter Cronkite! *'James:' Correction: it was the Tonys and if I may refute, sir: how are you gonna call me a rip-off when you replaced Jon Stewart? At least, I've got charm, fun and charisma. You just go on and on about Trump. Aside from South Park, no one watches Comedy Central, that's why their ratings are down in the dumps. You were in Black Panther? Oh that's nice, I guess. Unless you want a politically incorrect and unfunny mess, you should just step down and retire, no scratch that you should be fired, you're not entertaining you're just a cheap bargain bin imitation Seth Meyers. *'Trevor:' Coming from the guy who looks like Fred Flintstone, yabba-dabba-don't cross me or else I'll leave you boned. Craig Ferguson is funnier than ye, you shoulda stayed on the BBC, people don't wanna see your BS, they'd rather tune into me. I should rename you Dan Backslide, cause you stole Lip Sync Battle and replaced it with rap. You think I would give a corporate hack some crap? *'James:' Eric Andre's got you beat, he's not even a real host, I must retort, honestly his stuff's better than anything I've seen on the Colbert Report. Stephen Colbert then flies in on an eagle, much like how Abraham Lincoln does and drops down to face the other two. *'Stephen:' This just in: in today's report, Colbert spits hot fire. Watch me teach these two chumps the meaning of satire. Trevor saying "orange man bad" over and over is played out and passe, I'd rather listen to TV static than Corden's show tunes any day. I entertain and inform, you put people to sleep. James, you were in a film about singing troll dolls, for your career, I weep. Noah, if it weren't for me, you'd be out of a job, you knew your stand-up was destined to flop, so turn down the houselights and close up shop. This is Stephen, signing off. *'Announcer:' Who won? Who's next? You decide! Epic Rap Battles of History! The video ends.